Thursday 8th February, 2024
This is my core motivation…
Something that I’ve always longer for, that I’ve spent most of my life trying to build… it’s a creative family. A little gang of makers, doers, movers, & misfits… all of us united in the pursuit of some big project or goal. Looking back, the moments that I am at peak joy is when I have a kind of family like this.
My first real interaction with this was my friends of course. Swords is a huge town, & it was full of kids my age. I taught about 5 or 6 people how to juggle, & we spent our days making circus videos, & building our skills together. Eventually, some of us got into music too, & an open mic night started in the town. Quickly there was a wonderful core group of musicians to play with, for, & even against! It was a great time to be in that town. (I even gathered a small group of artists to lobby for a theatre to be built in the town & we were actually successful in that endeavour… but that was later on.)
Then I was introduced to the theatre for the first time… & theatre is really the pinnacle of this creative family lifestyle. For months on end, we would show up, rehearse, play, eat, argue, & cry together. All of us focused around a play. When I joined up with ‘Capitalism: the musical’, I had found a true family of misfits. People who had dedicated their lives to the arts, & to the lifestyle that I longed for. Here, for the first time… I knew what it truly meant to go on an adventure with a family of my choosing. This musical took me around Ireland, to Italy… & it really set up my expectations for what life could be.
The theatre & the circus world is like this. It also seems like the dance world is similar. You can see the attitudes & philosophies expressed in the behaviour of people like this. They’re usually quick to befriend people. They’re usually quite comfortable with touch. They usually need attention. (perhaps that’s just me) These are my people. These are the ones I love & hate in equal measure, because these are the people that I know in & out. These people are me.
One of the biggest tragedies in this world is how temporary these families are. A show ends, usually after a few months. & then we all get super lonely, on a social comedown. People are constantly moving around the world, looking for opportunities & experiences. Everything & everyone costs money… & we rarely make enough to start the next project, should the one we’re on ends. A lot of creative industries are running on dreams because the work that it takes… is greater than any external compensation. I’d argue that those of us who choose this lifestyle do it because of how we want to live… not because of what we want to do.
This is where the sadness of Dublin really hits us. As the most expensive city in Europe, suffering through a perpetual housing crisis, there is little to no hope to create a home for a family like this. The meaning of this is two-fold. There’s no studio that’s affordable to rent for artistic purposes, & an artist can’t afford an actual home to live in the city. A city like Dublin has become hollow since I’ve started my lil artistic journey. It’s antagonistic to people like me. I often say that I don’t want to leave Dublin, but it doesn’t seem to want me.
Then there’s the music industry… which I haven’t even mentioned yet. & for good reason. I’m a musician now, first & foremost. But my heart is one of a circus man. Musicians aren’t as social or physical as my circussy theatre folk. This is most likely because of the nature of music, & playing in bands. There are so many solo artists out here, like me. The way a solo artist works is…. well it’s solo. So musicians, even in bands, tend to be weird with touch & physicality. They can still be like a little family… but it’s not in a way that I love. That being said… at a bigger scale, with managers, & touring shows, it does seem like a lil creative family. So I’m looking forward to that!
There’s an anime that’s very close to my heart. It has been since I watched it in my early teens… & maybe it’s the source for this yearning I’ve got. If you’re familiar with One Piece, you’ll know the term ‘Nakama’. This kind of bond between the family we choose, bound together by an adventure into the sea, all taken care of by the ship they share… now THAT’S what I’m looking for. So, applications are open for a navigator… just in case anyone’s looking to join my crew.
Until then,
I’ll see you next week.
Nathan
