Wednesday 10th April, 2024

The end of days is fast approaching…

…or at least the end of my hiatus from live music & social media.

I’m quite excited to return in all honesty, but I’m facing some kind of crippling mental block. “IT HAS TO BE PERFECT”. Or at least perfect-adjacent. When I return to posting, I feel the need to post something that ‘matters’, or to have something to promote… something of a high quality. I’m planning a video project that might be ready on time… but I’m skeptical. There just aren’t enough days left to pull off something of a high enough quality… we’ll see though. I may be skeptical, but I’m still hopeful!

This anxiety of perfection is also extending across my next live performance. BIMM Live will take place in the Button Factory on June 6th, which isn’t that far away. Two months is a long time… but not when you have a thesis & three assessments to write & submit. Or when you’re planning a separate filmed project to release in the run up to that. OR when you have a dramatic personal life full of big distracting moments & people. :)

Forward planning can be a difficult thing. At what point does ‘too early’ become ‘too late’? At what point is the quality not able to improve beyond your time or production limits? With so many variables… other musicians, their schedules, their skills… production crews, their timetables, their skills… production issues, venue, funding… the context & timing, other gigs, recorded songs, strategies… there’s so much to account for that I’m surprised anyone can get anything done. When it comes to expensive productions, I imagine that you’re not just paying for the skills of others, but also their commitment. If someone else is offering a stable income, then you gotta work around their schedule… if that’s happening with 6 people… that’s six other schedules to contend with. One of the biggest barriers to quality is facilitating the work. Having the space & the time to bring others together is a monumental challenge. So if you can figure out how to bring multiple talents together at the same time… squeeze what you can from those days.

I’ve come to learn that I’m somewhat incapable of strategising my career. I can decide on ideas & theories of strategy… but I’m always shooting in the dark, & quite often unable to actualise my intentions fully. That level of logistics is just not in me. So, when I’m looking for a manager to take on board, THAT’S my biggest requirement from them. I can work hard. I can create & perform & engage a fanbase… but I don’t know how to approach festivals or promoters… I don’t know how to get signed by a label or publisher… I don’t know how to network & maintain contacts in the music industry. I barely know where to spend the little money I do have. That damned beautiful film Learning Curve cost me €10K… 7 thousand of that was my own personal savings… does that SEEM like a smart choice? Did I earn anything from that? Did I spend ANY money to promote it? Nothing at all…………… so you see. I’m not the person who should be managing my talent. I should be using my talent. Alas, this is the tragedy of most artists. We have so much to give, but no ability to send it out.

Now, I’m off to analyse some data! (tis an exciting life I live)

Salut!

Nathan