Wednesday 29th November, 2023

Big plans, & how to talk about them…

So, here’s the thing. I’m a person who likes to talk. I like to share. I get excited about the future, about my plans, about what COULD be. What is doesn’t always interest me as much. But there’s a problem with this. ‘They’ say that those who talk about doing, never do. ‘Some’ also say that there’s a part of your brain that rewards you for talking about doing something, which can make it less likely for you to do it. While it’s not great to believe in the nebulous ‘they’ & ‘some’, there are a few things to be careful with when you are a talker, an oversharer, & an ambitious soul.

1) Your failures are way more public…

There are countless times that I’ve spoken about something that I was working on, or someone I was going to work with, or a project that was about to happen… only for whatever it was to fall through. This happens to everyone, in most industries. Potential things that might, tend not to happen from my estimate. So when I get excited about my plans & ambitions… I tell everyone! I show pieces of the project that aren’t ready to be seen, & then… I usually need to explain why they never materialised. Often, I feel like a fool who never finishes anything… & it really feels like that’s the impression I give off. Like I’m all bark & no bite.

2) You begin to sound important…

When you meet people, & you talk about all the things you’re gonna do, you come across in one of two ways. If the person is experienced in the same industry, you seem like you haven’t learned the reality of the world: that nothing happens until after it’s done. If the person isn’t experienced, you seem like you might have yourself together, & that you should be trusted in… unfortunately, after a while, that person will see that most things that could be, won’t be. Then you can seem like you fail more than most.

3) You open yourself up to critique at the wrong moments…

If you’re a creative, which I’m assuming you are, you will eventually need to show someone your work. This has a few functions…

It can allow you to experience your work through someone else. If someone is listening to my song while I’m there, the song sounds different! Slow parts sound slower, fast parts sound faster, my attention is shifted through them. When your project is in the early days of development, of course it’s going to be rough. You don’t need a heightened sensitivity at this stage… all it’ll do is spook you into safety.

Showing your work also opens you up to other people’s opinions. (hopefully ones that you’ve asked for…) When I get excited about a song I’m working on, I’ll wanna show anyone & everyone around me. Non-musicians, musicians, anyone! Unfortunately, not everyone is sensitive to an unfinished piece… most people can’t listen to ‘what this could be’. They usually hear what’s there. So, you then open yourself up to feedback at a time when your piece isn’t a great representation of your idea, & is still able to be changed based on the opinions of people who don’t fully understand your imagined idea. In general, you end up with unhelpful advice at best, & potentially harmful advice at worst. This is one of the reasons I took time away from live performing & social media. I wanted to remake myself without feedback from people along the way.

These three things are pretty negative, which is purposeful. Because in reality, I find that people don’t judge you this harshly. In fact quite a lot of people love how passionate you are. They see a spark in you & mostly want you to succeed… sometimes they will offer to help you succeed! Once again, ‘they’ say that if you want help, you need to ask for it. How can anyone help you if you won’t tell them what you need help doing? How can anyone follow your journey if you won’t share it?

I think I’ve come to love my oversharing nature, but in a big way I’m trying to mitigate some of those negative points above. Mostly by sharing with a very select group of people, & not accepting feedback on it. I find that it takes a lot of courage to disagree with someone’s opinion about you. It just seems natural that they would know more than you… because they represent the people ‘out there’… the dreaded & beloved ‘audience’. So I do let opinions seep into me from now & then, but I’m developing techniques to stay true to my vision when I can. (that’s partially what my thesis is about this year)

So if you are an oversharer like me there’s no need to change who you are… but feel free to change how you are. Find ways to protect yourself, & your work. Remember that you’re exposing yourself to the Sun, & the Sun will burn you if you lie in it for too long without sunscreen.

Talk to ya next weeeeeek!

Nathan