Wednesday 14th June, 2023
Life is a choice between monotony & danger…
Recently I was told the story of the Country Mouse & the City Mouse… which I will now re-tell, making up & changing whatever I see fit.
It all started with a trip, the City Mouse ventured out beyond the walls & paved streets towards his cousin, the Country Mouse. Out here along the dusty roads & tall grass, the Country Mouse lived a pretty simple & hard working life, tending to a small farm & feeding his family on what they could grow & sell. Clothes were to be worn, torn, & sewed out here… nothin fancy. This philosophy extended into every aspect of the Country Mouse’s life. This was the first great shock to our little City Mouse. He approached his cousin’s small farm house dressed in the finest cloth money could buy. The latest imports from cities beyond his own. As he stepped off his carriage, he took off his fancy top hat & embraced his cousin. It had been so long, they were nothing alike beyond their fondness for one another.
The City Mouse struggled to adapt to his stay at the farm. While he wasn’t expected to help out with the labour, there was nothing else for him to do. No tour guide, no theatre, no coffee house. So he rolled up his sleeves & tried his best on the first day. Then he tried on the second. Then he attempted on the third. By the fourth day of his trip he couldn’t handle it anymore. Everyday, the same field, the same people, the sam food, the same thing. He missed his exciting city. His exotic friends. He missed his specialty, single-origin coffee. So on the fourth night, he packed his bag, & he packed his cousins bag… they were going to the city!
After the Country Mouse arranged things with his wife & kids, he agreed to finally see his cousin’s life. Together they set off in the carriage. First, they arrived in the City Mouses wardrobe. The Country Mouse was pushed, pulled, & buttoned into the latest fashion. While he felt silly & stiff at first, as they ventured through a city of adoring stares & compliments, the Country Mouse began to enjoy the feel of these clothes. The coffee was bitter too, but the conversations he witnessed between brilliant thinkers & poets made him so happy to be a part of this bitter dance. The world was so big, & he was a part of it now. His first day in the city was so full of new joys & possibilities.
Dinner was the most marvellous thing of all. The City Mouse introduced the Country Mouse to a true feast. Cheeses from the depths of the Earth. Wine from the feet of God. Turkish Delight… from Turkey I’m guessing… you get the point. It was lavish! The excess was beginning to weigh down the Country Mouse. He felt sluggish & delirious… only to be snapped into sobriety by a loud crashing noise.
Through a mountain of books, bottles, & trinkets came a thrashing cat. An aggressive beast of claws, teeth, & cruelty. It swiped, clawed, & bashed the mice around the room. The two little things scurried as fast as they could, avoiding a not-so-certain death narrowly. The Country Mouse was frozen solid behind a floorboard, safe in body, but not in spirit. His little heart pounded to a hum. His cousin just about giggling at the chaos of it all.
It turns out that this cat was the very same one that had killed the City Mouse’s parents. He had become quite intimate with the danger it posed. Living so close to the violence & chaos that it became another romantic risk of the high life. The City Mouse tried to console the Country Mouse, he tried to navigate the reality of the danger they were in… but to no avail.
The next morning, the Country Mouse hugged his cousin, & left for the farm… To be with his family. To be with his field. The shy away into his comfortable, quiet content.
The End.
Now, if you’ve come this far you might be wondering what has happened to this blog. Maybe you’re wondering if I’m okay. Maybe you’re just curious to see how I weave this into the life journey of a musician… well… when I heard this story, & the function of life it tackled, something clicked within me. If it’s a choice between monotony & danger, then I’ve chosen a dangerous path. I can look at the uncertainty of my life as a choice. One that I make willingly I might add.
I am, of course, the City Mouse in this instance. I’m living with the cat on my shoulder, but I’m living with the exotic folk, the specialty coffee, the feasts… I, like the City Mouse, am not able to withstand the same day, the same week, the same month… I need a variety of stimulation. I need to feel like I’m part of a heaving city… like I’m taking part in the story of humanity. Something in me, for whatever reason, needs to reach for the glory of great contribution. I know full well that our world is built on the backs of everyday contributions. The farmers, teachers, builders, nurses…. their work is the foundation of all our lives. Yet I’m built differently. I don’t have what it takes to repeat these days, to repeat my contributions. My lack of discipline has led me to a life of novelty & risk.
The reason this is important to remember, is all down to my darker moments. When I’m low, & wondering why the world is punishing me… I must remember that I chose this life, in all of its expressions. That the rejection, dejection, & success all come with the lifestyle. If I was built different, I’d be cursing my ‘lack of creativity’, or ‘lack of bravery’ or something like that. I’ve had friends tell me how brave I am for taking the risk of art… even though it doesn’t always feel like bravery, I know that they’re suffering for their choices, just as I am mine, & they look at my life as I see theirs... without the hidden anguish.
This was meant to sound happier… cause it is a positive thought that I’ve gleaned from this story, & this realisation. It makes the hard times a bit more bearable & it helps me accept that, even in failure, my life is one of excess, magic, & danger. For that I’m thankful.
(cause I’m a dysfunctional romantic)
Okay, next week!
Nathan
